What is a Good Death?

As I write this, we are in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic. Much effort is being placed on preventing the spread of Covid 19 to save lives. There is little talk about having a good death.  As they say, there are only two certainties in life. The first is taxes and the second is death. We are all going to die one day. Of course, we don’t like to think about it, particularly when we are young. However, as we get older we start to begin to come to terms with our mortality. 

In care, it’s part of the job that the people we care for will come to the end of their lives and our role during this time is to give that person and their families the best end of life that we possibly can. This includes cleaning a person, making sure they get as food and drink, changing their clothes and making sure they are not in pain. Our end of life care can make a big difference to a person being comfortable in their final months, weeks, days and hours and can make a big difference to the family members being able to come to terms with their loved one’s death. Often as carers, we get close to people and get upset when they die. It’s not the same as someone in our families dying but it is upsetting when someone we have been looking after dies. 

What else makes the difference between having a good death and a bad death? 

I think everyone’s experience of death and grief is as individual as they are, but I think there are common factors that most people would agree on. It depends on the type of relationship the person had with the person who died. It also depends on how the person died. The circumstances of the death. It depends on being able to have a funeral for that person that friends and family are able to come together to remember that person. It depends on being able to be with the person at the end of their life so they can say goodbye. 

As government restrictions carry on through 2020 it is becoming harder to have a good death. Family members have been told they are not allowed to spend time together. People are being excluded from care homes to minimise the risk of infection. Families have been prevented from going to funerals so they aren’t able to say goodbye to their loved ones. This is particularly hard if a person followed a certain religion and it was important for them to have a large number of people at their funeral. 

People have been stopped from going into the hospital with their loved ones when they are ill and they are dying. 

Is prolonging life the most important aspect of being human? Or is it having a good life? And a good death? With people around. Is it best to have years in your life or life in your years? 

For more information about how Unisus Care can support you and your loved ones in your time of need, contact us.